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Entitled to My Own Opinion… (but that’s about it) ~ Guest Post

March 3, 2010

Entitled. A word echoed over and over from Tiger-not-so-outta-da-Woods on news programs all over the world, all weekend. Tiger admitted his faults, including his excuse for feeling entitled to be able to commit all of those moral no-nos, based on how hard he had worked; how far he’d come. Entitled. That word struck a chord in me.
 * Entitled: Just before I had my 2nd child, and was 50% done babymaking, I started my own consulting business and was bringing in some money. The money was slated to pay off some debts that had accrued during my career sabbatical from 2003-2004 — even after living as frugally as humanly possible for @ a year.

* Entitled: When I did start making a little itty bit of money, something began to happen. The items I would normally walk right past in a store (tunnel vision is mandated when going from 2 incomes to 1) now began calling my name from the shelves. I started convincing myself that even though our financial situation was not more forgiving, flexible, or lucrative, I was entitled.

* Entitled: To splurge on items I never would have dreamt of splurging on, back when I wasn’t working. I would persuade myself that I deserved to freshen up my entourage of diaper bags. I’d talk myself into it being okay to get new designer sippy cups b/c I was bored of the old ones. Heck, what is another $7.99? Even though the budget didn’t allow, I did it. Upgraded bibs turned into Dansko shoes for mom… for and extra bins for the playroom turned into a new side table for the rec room. Heck, I work now! I presumed it was justifiable.

Entitled: Then, a few more kids later, I was working twice as hard to start another business. I had 1/2 the time, double the kids, and double the responsibility. Heck, I was willing to pay a little more for the short cuts that the retail grocery store provided (that typically cost double). I began upgrading my subconscious wishes; was giving further into temptation. I’d pick up, adore, and just look the other way while I threw it in the shopping cart, vs. how I used to just not even go there, in my head.

Entitled: Just b/c I was working — but not yet making money — I would succumb to little devil’s voice on my shoulder as he whispered to me, convincing me that I was entitled. I deserved it. I work my as$ off as a parent, and although the company wasn’t cash flow positive yet — heck, I merited it.
     * Whether we’re a stay-at-home-mom (I was much more strict with my money then), a work-at-home-mom, a work-in-the-office mom… we all do so much for everyone else, we want to feel appreciated. Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it sure helps buy things so we can (try to) look cute.

     *Why, because we work so hard, do we fell as we’re “owed” something back? That we’re entitled to it?

I’d get most frustrated when I’d look around at countless other families who seemed to be working as hard, or even a little less hard than we were, and they were so much further along, financially. Instead of facing the reality that we simply can’t afford whatever it was I wanted, I would just purchase it. Heck, maybe they don’t actually have money for their toys and clothes; maybe they just charged it also. Well, damn it, I’m going to, too! Two wrongs make a right, right?
Fortunately, all is paid off now, but I look back in disgust at how I felt entitled. And, I still sorta do.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not even talking big, extravagent things. More like: the newest phone. Another Bluetooth headset. A purse from Target to freshen up my accessories. A pair of cheap hoop earrings. You get the picture. Nothing big or extravagent… but nothing that was in the budget. I’d throw it in the cart because I felt as if I had earned it, for all of my diligence, tenacity, and devotion to my career, my family, husband, and my kids. And, heck… hubby is so conservative, unless it’s a birthday or Christmas, he will not be spending money on me. So, what’s a girl to do? Why, spend it on herself, of course.
Entitlement is a scary way to justify. ANYTHING. It only causes problems, hurt, and hatred. The hatred part is more about Tiger-not-so-outta-da-Woods. The problems include in-congruencies in your checkbook, your relationships, and your explanation for things.
Please visit: http://todayscliche.com!!
Please tell me you can relate. I know I’m not in this consumerism alone! Anyone else feel the same way?
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About “Her”

Kat is a thirty-something Mommy-a-Holic, Happy-Hour-a-Holic, & Career-a-Holic (in no particular order, of course…) who is challenged & rewarded hourly by her 4 young kiddos, career, & business (www.TCHNetwork.com / The Corporate Housing Network).
Above all, Kat is full of passion. Passionate about her faith in God; passionate toward her husband; passionate and proud of her incredibly strong relationship with her parents; passionate about her children having manners (!), passionate about her children’s education; passionate about placing her family’s and friends’ needs in front of her own; passionate (and obsessed) about researching the best solutions, products, and services online; and passionate about respecting those who have more experiences than herself — both personally and professionally.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. March 3, 2010 6:42 am

    Great post. The entitlement mentality drives me crazy and makes me insanely angry. However, you’re right, we all feel a little bit of entitlement from time to time.

    Humbling post.

  2. March 3, 2010 9:09 am

    I started reading this post and was like, wait I have read this before. And then I saw that it was from Kat. Loved it the first time and loved it this time.

  3. March 3, 2010 9:22 am

    You are so right. In fact, we just had the discussion about “Axe” shampoo for our teenager, of all things. Yeah, he can certainly get by with Suave for $0.88, but I saw the “sale” sign and figured what’s a couple more bucks. It totally adds up, doesn’t it! And just because his hair is cute doesn’t mean he’s entitled to expensive products to make it look that way! Holy crap – he’s 13! What was I thinking. Hmmmm, probably thinking along the same lines as buying licorice at the overpriced gas station because it was more convenient than going to the grocery store.

    I have some things to work on, I know.

    But Tiger has more! 🙂

  4. March 3, 2010 3:44 pm

    Oh, good lord, YES! I can relate! I’ve gone from being a stay at home mom to two girls to being a stay at home caregiver for my slowly dying mother-in-law.
    I can tell you right now that being board out of my mind is certainly one of the reasons I try to think I’m entitled sometimes. Not to mention, my husband is a sweet person, of course, but he is too ready to snatch up and buy whatever I stop to gaze at when we’re shopping.
    Oh! And one more reason, at least one I find myself using to claim entitlement is the oldy but goody, “It’s a good deal.” Right there you are telling yourself that actually you’re SAVING money! Heh!
    That was a great post!

  5. March 3, 2010 10:12 pm

    So I was totally thinking about this today on my 1 1/2 commute home. Why is it people think they are entitled to stuff. Like at work, I swear people thing they are owed the world. I’m like hello, this is your job, this is why you get paid. You are entitled nothing more. Quit if your not happy. lol

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