Date Night…Cara Mamma & Principessa Style ~ Guest Post

Last week, I took Principessa (my 5 year old daughter) on a date. I told her that we were going on a special date, just she and I. She looked at me quizzically, and then I continued telling her that we, two lovely ladies, were going out to a special dinner. I was not telling her that our date night was a result of me realizing that it would be the last night of just “us.” She was off to spend a week with her dad, and then would return to a house full of people, preparing for my wedding to her future step-dad (Rocket). Principessa of course asked if she could have french fries and dessert…she had no idea what was really in store.

We arrived, me playing the role of her escort, treating her like a very big girl, at a local restaurant. Not two minutes after sitting down, did Principessa ask…if she could color. I told her that this restaurant did not have crayons for her to use. Then came the, “can I play with your phone?” I responded- “no, it is dinner, and we are going to talk.” Principessa, in her five year old way, said “that is boring!” –and here is where, i knew that I had gone terribly, terribly wrong.

I am by no means an expert on parenting. My Masters in Education taught me a lot of things, but no where was there a manual for parenting. What I did know, in that moment, was that date night with my daughter was as of now, of dire importance. And that without an extreme intervention, my little Principessa was going to really believe that going out to dinner meant playing on her mom’s iphone while the adults talked.

Eventually we did talk. But I realized a few things as our night continued.

· I need to talk to Principessa–Talk, talk and more talk. Talk is more than just asking her what she did at school. How often have you asked your child what they did at school today, and they say that they can’t remember? Depending on the age, given a chance, most children, will talk about anything.
· I need to play with Principessa. While playing fun Wii games together is nice, board games are better. (Candy Land for those of you that have not played it in 30 years, is still around, and still quite fun!).
· I need to carve out sacred time, family time with Principessa. Family time….needs to be a regularly occurring event. Whether it is reading, playing, or cooking…the main ingredient of together time is key.

As a teacher, I see students with very diverse backgrounds. They speak many languages, have different cultural traditions, and come from varied socio-economic groups. There is one common characteristic though: Whether they are in kindergarten or sixth grade, their faces light up when they talk about having spent special time with their families.

So, although I know that there will be times that the iphone will need to come out… our kids need us…and really, we need them.

About CaraMamma from A Day In The Life: A mom, a wife, an ex-wife, a teacher, a runner, a cancer surivor. But really–what does that mean? I am a honest, reflective, sarcastic woman—often my own worst enemy. I tell it like it is—sometimes without a filter. I believe that optimism and a positive attitude can do just about anything, and on my days, act based on my heart and intuition.